My eyes were all red and swollen. I do not have the energy to prepare breakfast for my family. I hated this feeling, but I can’thelp it. I hated myself for being so rude. I hated this unwine,unwind moment.My hubby wanted to “unwine” after a hard week at work. So we bought him four bottles of beer and cooked him hotdog and squid balls. He went on sound tripping until twelve in the evening. This is his way of unwinding. Sleep time came…this is the hardest part…he wanted me put both my feet on his feet …he called this “dagan”. Hubby has an arthritis that bothers him every sleeping time. More often that not, I always submit to his request of “dagan” but sometimes, when I am also tired and not feeling well…I also say No. That night, I said No, so he began his litanies of undescribable words. Since I am so sensitive of hearing those words, I cried and outpour my feelings…”I am just tired and sleepy, I don’t want to be bothered !”
The following day, hubby began hugging and kissing me. Its his way of saying “I am sorry” This is what I admired from him…he is really so sweet. Then I’ve come to realize I also have my shortcomings. I am so sensitive but am so insensitive of hubby’s feelings.I remember an article I read in a book entitled GIVING THE LOVE THAT HEALS by Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt – “Refraining from criticizing your spouse and feeling his pain instead isn’t just a “good thing to do” When something is just a good idea , our dedication is conditional. We do it if its convenient, or it feels good, or it’s easy.” We are selective of the good deeds we ought to do. Yes, if it will make us feel good about ourselves then we do it. But if it is tiring and will not give us any good feelings then we decline from doing it. This is what I did to hubby.
I believe each of us is responsible for doing things not because we will feel good about it but because it will help and will make the person concern feel the love of God. No ifs, no buts,just keep on doing good things and keep on loving even the unlovables. This way we will prove to everyone that LOVE IS GOD and GOD IS LOVE !!!
