UNWINE…UNWIND

My eyes were all red and swollen. I do not have the energy to        prepare breakfast for my family. I hated this feeling, but I can’thelp it. I hated myself for being so rude. I hated this unwine,unwind moment.

My hubby wanted to “unwine” after a hard week at work. So we bought him four bottles of beer and cooked him hotdog and squid balls. He went on sound tripping until twelve in the evening. This is his way of unwinding. Sleep time came…this is the hardest part…he wanted me put both my feet on his feet …he called this “dagan”. Hubby has an arthritis that bothers him every sleeping time. More often that not, I always submit to his request of “dagan” but sometimes, when I am also tired and not feeling well…I also say No. That night, I said No, so he began his litanies of undescribable words. Since I am so sensitive of hearing those words, I cried and outpour my feelings…”I am just tired and sleepy, I don’t want to be bothered !”

The following day, hubby began hugging and kissing me. Its his way of saying “I am sorry” This is what I admired from him…he is really so sweet. Then I’ve come to realize I also have my shortcomings. I am so sensitive but am so insensitive of hubby’s feelings.I remember an article I read in a book entitled GIVING THE LOVE THAT HEALS by Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt – “Refraining from criticizing your spouse and feeling his pain instead isn’t just a “good thing to do” When something is just a good idea , our dedication is conditional. We do it if its convenient, or it feels good, or it’s easy.” We are selective of the good deeds we ought to do. Yes, if it will make us feel good about ourselves then we do it. But if it is tiring and will not give us any good feelings then we decline from doing it. This is what I did to hubby.

I believe each of us is responsible for doing things not because we will feel good about it but because it will help and will make the person concern feel the love of God. No ifs, no buts,just keep on doing good things and keep on loving even the unlovables. This way we will prove to everyone that LOVE IS GOD and GOD IS LOVE !!!

MOM

Typhoon Egay is coming…classes are suspended. Mom is going home to Laguna. I promised I will accompany her in buying her television courtesy of my sister Ket’s credit card. Unfortunately I can’t come with her because of the typhoon. But the sun is up, there is no rain. THANKS BE TO GOD ! Flood is still knee deep in our place in Obando, Bulacan due to the last typhoon Chedeng and Dodong and if rain will continue to pour…oh my, where shall we all go?

It is already late when we decided to go. But mom is already at the Tritran bus terminal in Buendia. She was surprised when we texted her and told us she will wait for us in the bus terminal. So my daughter and I hurriedly left and proceed to buendia. There we met mom...she was with that big smile…sa wakas, mabibili na ang television!!! On our trip to Laguna, we had a terrific bonding. Why terrific? Niki, my daughter, my mom and I were all asleep.

And so we reached waltermart and bought the television mom had been longing to have. Its been six months since her television retired. At her age (mom is already 65) the television is her great companion. This makes her laugh, cry and even jump for joy especially when its Eat Bulaga Itaktak Mo portion.

Sad to say, Dad left Mom ( to join our Creator) last June 25, 2006. Mom is living alone now, very far from us. She can’t leave Laguna, she still has a mission to fulfill there. She is a church worker – a mass commentator and overall president of their Fatima block rosary. She had already multiplied an extended families in the place. And all of these Godly worksmade her survive and cope up with the emptiness of losing Dad.

On our way home (my daughter Niki and i) I imagined Mom traveling alone from Laguna to Obando, Bulacan. She visited us three times a month. And every 26^th day of the month , I accompany her in buying her seven kinds of medicines for her maintenance. Mom is diabetic and a stroke survivor. In fact this is the second time I visited her in her place ever since Dad left her. Why so very seldom ? Why can’t I be the one to visit her instead? It is because of my heart ailment…I do not want to tire myself also. But mom is getting old. Now she is having a hard time walking because of her rayuma. We had already reached bicutan and mom still bothers me. Ahhh…this time I have to store strength and courage to be the one to visit and bond with her. Our Gracious GOD will sustain me with all my needs. I will do this for Mom but most of all for HIM. Because this is my way of thanking HIM for giving Mom to us. HE IS A WONDERFUL GOD!!!

ANG SAPATOS NI KUYA

“Ma, twg k s cel ko nw na po” txt ni Niki. So I called her and these are her words …”Ma, pagbaba naming ng jeep sa monumento, nagtataka si kuya kasi para daw siyang naka-tsinelas, kaya po pala…tanggal na ang suwelas ng sapatos niya!”
“ o, anong ginawa mo? I asked. “sasamahan ko na po siya na bumili ng slipper sa Gotesco Grand Central, papautangin ko po siya. Pero di na po ako makakapasok, dalawa lang po ang klase ko at di na po ako aabot. Papasok po si kuya ,ako nap o ang mag uuwi ng shoes nya.” I thanked GOD for these blessings…ang dalawa kong anak di nag iiwanan, bagkus nagtutulungan. Oh I am so proud of them.

It is very common between siblings to always have friction especially with my two kids,,,they always argue even on trivial matters. But I am so thankful that at times like this…wherein they need each other…they extend each others arms and come to the rescue. This is how I wanted my children to be – to grow with compassion in their heart. To know GODLINESS … and that no matter where and when and in whatever situation lalabas at lalabas ang kagandahang asal na ito. Because I believe it is deeply rooted in their hears. These are the beautiful things GOD HAVE CREATED that I long to impart to them . GODLY things on which they will continue to live by even I won't be around anymore. I can be rest assured that these good deeds will be passed forward today, tomorrow and all the days of their lives. PRAISE OUR GRACIOUS FATHER FOR THIS UNENDING LOVE…

PASUKAN NA NAMAN

Parehong first timer ang dalawang anak ko sa kanilang mga respective universities. My eldest is a transferee and my youngest is a first year student. But more than anybody else, I am more excited to enroll than them. Super dami na pala ng pagbabago sa FEU. High tech na ang entrance – ID’s are swiped. Nikon took the entrance exam on a personal computer. Wow… parang gusto ko ulit maging estudyante ! Walang ganito during my college days in PSBA.
After accompanying Nikon to his respective examination room, we proceeded to MCU Caloocan for Niki. She submitted the requirements and took the entrance exam. “Ma, wag mo akong iiwan ha. “ “will I pass the exam?” As we held hands, I can feel her sweating. Suddenly… nag flashback sa akin when I brought her to school when she was 3. She don’t want me to leave her and we hold hands. Ah… this is the same scenario but this time she is already sixteen.
Having a son and a daughter differed distinctively. My son always wanted to be left alone. Nahihiya siya pag nilalambing ko siya in front of his barkada. Pag tutulungan mo siya sa isang bagay, he will always say “ ako na lang po !” Maybe because he wanted to be a real man. But my daughter always calls me to the rescue. Every move…”mama !”
But you know… I savor every bonding I share with my 2 kids Nikon and Niki. Kahit may congenital heart disease ako ( may butas ang puso ko), every moment I shared with them are treasured and confined here in my heart. Dito, kahit may butas ang puso ko… hindi nawawala ang magagandang ala ala ng dalawang anak ko. They are kept here in my heart. Mahal na mahal ko ang mga anak ko !!! I may not be a perfect mom, but I have an almost perfect NIKON and NIKI. They are among my best gift from our GRACIOUS FATHER !!!
O, PASUKAN NA NGA, mga mommies… brace yourselves sa sangkaterbang gastusin, nakaka tense pero masayang umaga…Basta bear in mind… nandito tayo para sa mga anak natin…nakasunod, naka alalay, laging nagpapastol !!! dahil sa relasyong magulang at anak…tayo ang tagapag pastol.